Intimacy

In order to enjoy a close and intimate bond with our partner, we need to be mindful of the emotional state of the relationship. Without an honest and genuine emotional bond of trust, a high quality sexual relationship will never be achieved. Sex will become non-existent or the domain of one controlling partner over one submissive partner or a mutual using of each other person’s body. Each individual brings with them all that they are outside the bedroom walls into the sanctity of the enclosed bedroom space.

With humour, goodwill, and enthusiasm the skill level of both people can improve rapidly. A few good sex books can do wonders for a couple. We cannot assume that our partner understands the sexual needs of a body that has a different physical and emotional functioning to our own. Even gay couples cannot assume to know how a different person functions sexually, though it is the same structural type of body. Every good-natured experiment is one step closer to a more satisfying experience. A couple may even choose to investigate such ideas as the meridians and pressure points of Taoist foreplay if they would like their sexual relationship to become more holistic and healing.

An individual’s sexual energy level can alter dramatically with illness and tensions, well-being and happiness, alternate interests, and the ongoing cycles of life. The ebb and flow of sexual interest is as changeable and, sometimes, unpredictable as the currents of the sea. Like everything else in life, spiritual students respond to sexual matters through the eyes of love and wisdom. It is no secret that men are usually more driven by sex than women. However, this can vary over the years with stress, age, personality, the state of the relationship, and other issues. Communication and a desire to make the relationship work are important. Compromise is a good path if it helps another and does not harm us. If one person feels that they need more sex than the other, a regular and mutually agreed quota is sometimes enough to fix the problem. The one needing more sex will find the patience to wait. The other will relax, knowing that they will not be consistently harassed and they will put their energy into making the night special.

A quota may not seem very romantic but the reality of sex is, often, far from romantic. It is, frequently, the stewing pot of friction. It is so fragile that the smallest things can sabotage the whole event. For most people, it has innumerable problems. Yet, in spite of this, it has a naked, mystical essence that relentlessly and, almost, ruthlessly draws together those souls that have a secret to share with each other. While the romantic looks a little soppy and self-absorbed to me, the true lover has a healthy, robust, earthy, strong, and loving attractor field which automatically asks for a like response in his or her partner.

Do not underestimate the capacity of your partner to grow through the intimacy of sexual union. Both men and women need to be strong, confident, forthright, kind, gentle, and nurturing. In the bedroom, three are present – the partners and the Divine. Use the openness and vulnerability of the sexual arena to grow closer to God and give that same gift to your loved one.

 

This article is from The Love of Devotion

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