Intimacy – sexual relationships

In order to enjoy a close and intimate bond with our partner, we need to be mindful of the emotional state of the relationship. Without an honest and genuine emotional bond of trust, a high quality sexual relationship will never be achieved. Sex will become non-existent or the domain of one controlling partner over one submissive partner or a mutual using of each other’s body. Each individual brings with them all that they are outside the bedroom walls into the sanctity of the enclosed bedroom space. With humour, goodwill, and enthusiasm, the skill level of both people can improve rapidly. A few good sex books can do wonders for a couple. We cannot assume that our partner understands the sexual needs of a body that has a different physical and emotional functioning to our own. Even gay couples cannot assume to know how a different person functions sexually, though it is the same structural type of body. Every good-natured experiment is one step closer to a more satisfying experience. A couple may even choose to investigate such ideas as the meridians and pressure points of Taoist foreplay if they would like their sexual relationship to become more holistic and healing.

Currents of the Sea

An individual’s sexual energy level can alter dramatically with illness and tensions, well-being and happiness, alternate interests, and the ongoing cycles of life. The ebb and flow of sexual interest is as changeable and, sometimes, unpredictable as the currents of the sea. Like everything else in life, spiritual students respond to sexual matters through the eyes of love and wisdom. It is no secret that men are usually more driven by sex than women. However, this can vary over the years with stress, age, personality, the state of the relationship, and other issues. Communication and a desire to make the relationship work are important. Compromise is a good path if it helps another and does not harm us. If one person feels that they need more sex than the other, a regular and mutually agreed quota is sometimes enough to fix the problem. The one needing more sex will find the patience to wait. The other will relax, knowing that they will not be consistently harassed and they will put their energy into making the night special.

A quota may not seem very romantic but the reality of sex is, often, far from romantic. It is, frequently, the stewing pot of friction. It is so fragile that the smallest things can sabotage the whole event. For most people, it has innumerable problems. Yet, in spite of this, it has a naked, mystical essence that relentlessly and, almost, ruthlessly draws together those souls that have a secret to share with each other. While the romantic looks a little soppy and self-absorbed to me, the true lover has a healthy, robust, earthy, strong, and loving attractor field which automatically asks for a like response in his or her partner. Do not underestimate the capacity of your partner to grow through the intimacy of sexual union. Both men and women need to be strong, confident, forthright, kind, gentle, and nurturing. In the bedroom, three are present – the partners and the Divine. Use the openness and vulnerability of the sexual arena to grow closer to God and give that same gift to your loved one.

Attractiveness as an Energy Field

One of the quickest ways to destroy a sexual relationship is neediness. Without doubt, neediness in sex will rebound into some form of rejection. What a paradox – the thing that is desired must be released in order to be gained. The more we want it, the less we will have it. Some men and women seem to have mastered the genuine, non-needy approach to sex. Independence is a highly attractive quality. It may not be the highest human quality but, rest assured, without independence and lack of neediness, the individual will not be able to progress past a certain point on the emotional and spiritual path.

There is a direct correlation between the level of neediness and the level of attractiveness, regardless of age and physical appearance. As we become emotionally and spiritually independent, we automatically radiate a stronger auric field. This is interpreted as attractiveness by other people. Fortunately, as we progress we have less desire to use individual qualities such as attractiveness as a means of controlling others for personal gain. The person who is desired must learn to love others in a way which is helpful and kind but without taking advantage of the interest other people have in them. Many fallen-gurus have fallen because of this seduction. The lure of using personal attractiveness for selfish gain is significant. However, to do so means an instant fall from grace in the Divine hierarchy. Part of the responsibility of spiritual power is to not use it selfishly. Of course, people make mistakes with this issue but no mistake is permanent if the error is seen and sincerely corrected.

The Love of Devotion is the result of several decades of spiritual work. It began the day I first opened the metaphysical door and stepped into a world which, although only minimally understood at the time, was strongly desired. Metaphysics is concerned with the ultimate, primary, inner aspects of existence. It does not see life in material terms but sees life in terms of thought and it has a strong emphasis on healing. Everyone’s greatest need is for the healing and wholeness which spiritual awareness brings. However, we are often reluctant to commit to it. As Thomas Hora said, “It’s easy to be enlightened. It’s just not easy to be interested in it.” We, eventually, must come to the realisation that the purpose of our life is to align with our spiritual nature. Try as we do to find other options, there are no viable alternatives which will withstand the inevitable consequences of misplaced loyalties and loves. It is the way for us to find our soul-home. The Love of Devotion is an individual journey, however, the struggles and lessons of one person are, fundamentally, those of all mankind. It is the second book in the series Love and Devotion and is largely set within the framework of Devotional Nonduality and the teachings of Dr David R. Hawkins. 

As students of life, we seek both relief from suffering and growth of happiness. Deeply considering uplifting ideas raises our consciousness from the realm of the material problem into the powerful and harmonious realm of the spiritual. It is what a dedicated spiritual practice is all about. We give up our own ideas, hurts, fears, and grudges and concede to the Greater. We expand and we heal. It becomes apparent that it would be impossible to feel alone as we are intimately connected to a thriving life-force. It is everything, yet, it is nothing. It grows silently and steadily. We are already it and It is already us. We continue to go forward with our spiritual practices and these practices increasingly envelop us in loveliness. We come out the other side as a transparent being; nameless but with the mark of God. 

Love and Devotion is a two-book nonfiction series. The first book, in the series, is The Love of Being Loving. It is about the earlier adult years of my spiritual development. Dr Thomas Hora (Metapsychiatry) and Mary Baker Eddy (Christian Science) were the most significant influences on my spiritual path during my twenties and thirties. The second book is The Love of Devotion. In my forties, I started reading a series of metaphysical books by Dr David R. Hawkins. I realised that they were having a potent impact on my growth and Dr Hawkins became my next spiritual teacher. Dr Hawkins (Devotional Nonduality) and Dr Hora came from very similar spiritual and intellectual terrain. We are drawn to a certain field of truth which resonates with our inner leanings. My interest in understanding thought drew me to teachers who also had a deep interest in human consciousness.

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