Surrender and Wholeness in the Bedroom / Sex and Healing

Surrender and Wholeness in the Bedroom

The bedroom is the place of surrender. It is where we surrender to sleep, each night. As Dr Hora would say, Sleep is practising to die. We release from the day: from our troubles and worries and from our excitements and projects. We surrender to unconsciousness; never knowing, for sure, if we will wake up again. And, of course, the bedroom is the place where we make love.

Sex asks for a surrender to our own body, as well as a surrender to the body of our loved one. However, sex is not only about surrender. It is also about wholeness. Our body, healthy and alive, is only the starting point of that wholeness. Our auric field is the far greater part. It is this energy field which we are giving to our partner in the bedroom. No matter what we do or don’t do, say or don’t say, this energy field is speaking so loudly that it will certainly override all other conversations.

If our energy field is looking to be completed by another person, it will be too busy asking, hoping, and cajoling to concentrate on bringing a whole person; strong, capable, warm, confident, free, and appreciative. We don’t ask our mate to complete us. We bring something worth bringing, to someone who wants and loves that something. If we don’t have that completeness then we need to look for it everywhere, every day, in every way we can. We will find that somewhere, least expected, there is a beautiful wholeness about us that was there all along but, somehow, for all the craving, looking, demanding, and begging, we failed to see.

Sex and Healing

Sex can be very healing. Healthy, balanced, and loving sex is beneficial to the wellness of the individual. Physically, it balances the body. Emotionally, it binds the couple, even long after a relationship may have changed form. Spiritually, it can pull the individual out of themselves. Far from the ugliness of selfish or troubled sex, good sex is a reminder of the beauty, joy, and blissful surrender of the spiritual realms. In those realms, there is no division or craving. There is unity, fulfilment, expansiveness, and trust.

When a person does not have a mate, the sexual momentum can be transferred into the higher energy centres. This will often happen automatically. It adds to the individual’s intellectual, emotional, and spiritual power. We are designed to evolve and we have many aids to help us with that task. The deliberate sublimation of sexual energy for spiritual purposes is a very valid practice and has its expressions in all religious cultures. Such traditions value celibacy for those very intent on spiritual progress. Generally speaking, it is best to do what we can to create the life we want and then to let destiny and the Divine work out the details.

The craving for sex in the human is the shadow of the spiritual craving for joining with all that is beautiful. That is why it is so highly valued and protected in relationships, without people even knowing why it is so precious and important. Ultimately, spiritual love is faithful not to a person but to Love itself, which will naturally include certain people. Love will choose not to hurt or harm. It will also choose not to stifle one’s being or live a life of repression or cut off another’s reaching out. From the highest spiritual perspective, in the less physical and more ethereal realms, these questions have no relevance. There is not only no infidelity but there is also no fidelity. Who would be the person that is being faithful? And to whom? Spiritual love encompasses everyone. All souls are boundless, complete, and free. We are, in our spiritual being, already married to everything Divine and separated from nothing good.

Somewhere along the way, there develops within the soul a yearning that can no longer be ignored, a craving for the great Love affair. We feel it drawing ever closer. It is the greatest of them all. It cannot fail. It is all-consuming. It is incomparable. It is the love affair with our own true nature and the source from which it comes. The desire is in all of us but, more often than not, it is ignored for other interests. We wrestle with each interest, trying to make it work, growing with each adventure until the light has grown bright enough for us to reach for it.
Human love is the shadow of the Great love; its child. And of all human loves, it is romantic love which has the most riveting effect upon our soul. Ageless and perennial, it is forever finding an outlet in poetry, music, dance, story-telling, and the media. We never tire of it. It commands attention at so many turns, such is the longing for its presence in our life. It is not by accident that it has such an unfailing pull on our psyche. If we cannot connect with visible human love, we will not be able to find the invisible Love. Human love is leading us, most of us unknowingly, straight to the divinity of our own nature. And that nature leads us, in turn, to the source of life itself.
We love with all our heart, in every way that we can love, but the heart is not burdened. We learn to keep it light and pliable. It has space. It breathes. It waits on Life to give instructions. It sings with sweetness when the winds are soft and warm. It stands with calm patience when the storm is brewing. It lets go when death and seeming endings have left their irrefutable mark. It moves. It heals. It hopes. It allows Life to be lived in the safe, fertile, and still inner space where it grows stronger and more compelling every day.

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