At certain moments in our life, our psyche will tend to use the opportunity to clean-up some of the piles of unprocessed matter in our consciousness. Our soul always tries to help us move ahead and so it takes every opportunity to release anything which needs healing.
After never showing the slightest interest in ice skating, my teenage son took a sudden interest in it. His paternal grandparents were champion and show skaters and his father could skate as soon as he could walk. My son spent much of his earlier life in an ice rink because his father was a coach, I was a skater, and my older children were also skaters at that time. This child knew the nature of an ice rink from in utero. However, his skating life happened to him before memory took hold and so he could remember almost nothing of it. I, myself, had not been in an ice rink for nine years.
Our first visit back to this world naturally brought up many memories. As soon as I walked into the rink, I smelt the familiar damp air, heard the sound of blade against ice, and felt the biting cold on my face. Without setting foot on the ice, I could feel the body memory of skating rising in my body. I could feel the sensation of stroking and pushing into the ice, the open-hip, backward gliding motion, the stretching sensation.
All these types of returns are valuable healing opportunities. They become checkpoints for our soul to look at itself. Life, of its own accord, will have a tendency to arrange a visit for us that we neither think of nor consciously desire. After all, life is on our side and much cleverer than us. We connect with those we love, perhaps fix a few things up, communicate a few, previously unspoken words, check the state of those we have left behind, and look at our own progress since we belonged in that other, different world. Our very being there will have a tendency to sort out some karma.
If our current life is not going too well or we are under the stress of major responsibilities, our psyche will generally not want to add to the stress by putting us in a challenging situation which will further deplete our energy. An exception to this would be if we are going through a significant breaking-up of our thought patterns and a return to the past may be part of what is already a large and important shake-up. Normally however, our psyche does not try to heal or deal with extra things when we are busy surviving. The return-phenomenon is for the purpose of healing and so we should follow its instinctive course and also let our loved ones do the same thing. As suddenly as it appeared, the whole thing will run its course, in one way or another, and we will be free to move forward in life having lightened our spirit.
Returning to the past is a breathing space. It is like opening the doors to a forgotten cupboard, pulling everything out, wiping it out, sorting what is inside, and only returning what we truly want to keep. Our family rule for clean-outs was three bags – one for rubbish, one for charity, one to keep. We could do the same for these visits. Throw out the rubbish from our mind that we no longer wish to keep, give to others our generous thoughts of gratitude and love, and keep in a safe place those memories we wish to treasure. Nothing gets healed without a willingness to forgiveness. Who does not carry a million scars from being human? It’s inevitable. Without forgiveness, memories which come up have no viable place to go but back down inside us. Without forgiveness, any visit to the past will have a tendency to be painful.
A great deal of the hurt we experience in life comes from the inner child. It is the inner child which is so fragile and easily hurt. It has little resilience and when things don’t go its way it will tend to react. It can have a hissy-fit, stamp its proverbial feet, threaten to run away, make up lies, and all manner of not very mature responses. The more the hidden, vulnerable, and fragile child is awakened in a situation, the more it will have a tendency to react badly.
The inner child houses our craziness but it also houses the place which will love most openly and trustingly. It is, in fact, the very place we start to love and heal. To understand this helps us to forgive. An open heart cannot hold onto pain because pain drifts on through. An open heart heals quickly because it breathes in the fresh air. An open heart never loses its bright spirit. It is pliable, scars little, and gives a lot.
This article is from Love’s Longing