We are drawn to the Truth by wisdom and pushed to it by suffering. However, it is mainly the suffering that motivates people, at least, until enough momentum is gained.
Normal human fights are between two people both vying for their own way or for supremacy of position or for something they want. If we take away the egoic motivation of one of those people and replace it with a sincere desire for the betterment of the other even if the cost is emotional stress, humiliation, loss of something treasured or loss of the relationship then we have a situation where it is conflict between the higher and the lower self of the focal person, not conflict between two people. The desired result is for the higher side of the individual to win over the lower. The older soul will play the role of advocate for the higher if the fight will otherwise probably be won by the lower.
Point of Change
When I let people into my personal life, I look carefully to see if they will be able to tolerate being there. It is not exactly me that they must tolerate. It is the inner issues and consequent inner work that will unavoidably come up for them. I have a clear question that automatically appears if someone wishes to be in my life. It is, “Will he or she cope?” Are they close enough to the point of change to make the great effort and struggle worth it? Unless I feel the person has enough internal toughness to cope with what will come up and also that their level of pain is high enough to push them through it, I do the person the favour of politely not accepting their offer. They do not realize I am saving them pain which will end up going nowhere because they are not ready.
Love and Perseverance
The other deciding factor is love. Pain and endurance are not enough. They are the staple food that will keep the whole thing moving but love is the water. It is first. It is the background of everything else. Without it, the food cannot do its job. Love puts out fires that would otherwise destroy everything. It turns the fuel of lessons into something which can travel around the body giving life. If love isn’t there, nothing will last long. If it is present, there will always be hope and, in the end, it will win. It cannot be beaten. Without it, the train goes nowhere. With it, the train can go anywhere.
It is mysterious how love appears. Who can explain such a thing? The person must, in some way, have that love; love what is my essence, what I am connected to, what I live off. It means that there is something in them which knows that they too are the same essence and live off and are connected to the same energy. The presence of this love is vital and sacrosanct.
Often, of course, it is simply not my destiny or someone else’s to connect in some way. If someone is meant to be in our life, they won’t go away and nor will we. Not for too long anyway. At the first hint of having to look at themselves, most people will have a hissy fit, start blaming, sulk or storm off. If the person has the love, internal pain, intelligence, a certain level of awareness, and if they sense the uselessness of the other options then they will tend to have little choice but to go forward. They will have the incentive to persevere. This is very good and brings hope to the situation and enough drive to get through the difficult, sometimes really difficult, stages. It is a win all round. We are all blessed. Life keeps evolving. Those we love find their happiness and our soul smiles.
This article is from Love’s Longing