Many good people carry with them sexual inhibitions and guilt. Sexual desires are a normal and natural part of being human. Avoidance, fear, guilt, and prudishness about sex have no place in a healthy, balanced perspective on life. If we are relaxed, grateful, considerate, and confident then our sexual relationship with our loved one will probably be happy, problem-free, and satisfying for both people or, at least, it will be moving in that direction. We can acquire an attitude to sex which is liberating, caring, and open. From a spiritual perspective, we can enjoy it in the same way that we enjoy every other beautiful and pleasant thing in the human experience – with not too much attachment but not repressive and condemnatory.
The Longing for Oneness
Sex, like everything else, is good or bad, helpful or unhelpful, pleasant or painful, fulfilling or demoralizing based on the thoughts of the participants. Within the context of love, sex is a force for good. For many people, a loving sexual connection is actually the closest they ever get to a transcendent sense of benevolence, bliss, and that feeling of all is well – the closest they get to God. This is because loving, sexual oneness is the shadow of true, spiritual Oneness. As such, it carries with it some of the same elements, some of the same promise. The desire for physical unity is really representative of the deeper desire for spiritual completeness. Within a spontaneous, playful, respectful, and unselfish context sexual closeness is a channel for light but it cannot fulfil our deepest yearnings.
As spiritual students, if we wish to, we can use our sexual life with our partner as a moving meditation. Yoga is often referred to as a moving meditation. In yoga, one goes deeply inward, connecting with the Divine while at the same time moving the body in a way that has a beneficial and life-enhancing effect. One does not force the pose or fall asleep. It is awake, reverent attention. Similarly, walking can become an opportunity to move the body easily, graciously, and freely while drawing within to the non-dimensional ease, grace, and freedom which supports the inner Universe. Dancing with a partner becomes a consensual sharing of energy where the two individuals can, ideally, take their cue from the great flowing Movement beyond themselves. Likewise, sex can also become a consensual sharing of body, mind, and spirit. It can be an opportunity to expand the physicality of the experience into the very beat of Life which is always alive, responsive, and fulfilling and has a positive effect on those involved.
This article is from Love’s Longing