Real love is not just soft. It is also strong. To be loving does not equate with being nice. Sometimes, to be nice is loving. Sometimes, to be nice is not what is needed. Niceness can be ineffectual weakness.
Being nice may seem loving but it can be driven by a diverse range of underlying motives such as wanting to be liked, fear of rejection or wanting a favour. All of these motives are weak and inherently do not work. Trying to be popular never gets the result. Trying to be loved never makes us loved. Trying to get respect never makes us respected. Pacifying and being conciliatory towards damaging people does not turn them into well-intended, trustworthy creatures.
Intention is everything. Is there love in what a person says or is there underlying ill-will in their words? Intention will determine the destined outcome of any situation. The same kind words from one person can be a healing balm and from another person, a sweet poison. The same harsh words from one person can be malice and from another person, save a life. The intention behind the action or thought is always what makes it weak or strong, effective or ineffective, healing or powerless.
To be truly loving and kind means to honestly and genuinely have the highest good of the person at heart. This can manifest as soft or confrontational. It depends on what is being dealt with at the time. In the end, anything which carries the power of true, unselfish, and courageous love will have the power to protect, heal, and transform. Everything else is fraught with problems.
The way that a spiritually-oriented person offers love may not always be conventional. He or she may say things that other people do not understand. They may, sometimes, seem strange or harsh. They may, other times, seem very soft and kind when other people do not think it is appropriate. People can find such a person unpredictable and even illogical. A spiritually-directed person sees so much more than other people. He or she sees the intentions behind other people’s words and actions and responds to that. Generally, others cannot see the same thing and so they can neither understand nor predict the actions of the developed soul. There is a certain respect and, sometimes, nervousness which develops as a result.
This article is from The Love of Devotion