Most people would not think of themselves as tyrants, yet, emotional tyranny is a very common trait. It is submission, in some form, which is being coerced. Such a person will automatically tend to surround themselves with weaker people. Anyone who is equally as strong or stronger will have been extradited. The thing that is often desired is respect.
Respect cannot be demanded or manipulated. It must be won by the honest qualities of the person. People who tend to get respect are usually the last ones to ask for it. It is not that they are weak and do not set their boundaries and expectations but they realise that to force respect from another person is faulty at every level. They allow people their freedom. They are naturally respected for their independence, lack of gossiping, lack of ill will, and their generosity towards others’ successes.
Tyrants do not allow others their freedom. They usually say that they do but their behaviour says otherwise. As soon as they feel threatened or jealous, they will try to hurt the other person in whatever way suits their personality from outright meanness to silent stone-walling. They will commonly turn to gossiping about the perceived enemy and if that doesn’t work, lying can become the next option. Such a person sees others’ successes as their own demise. They will make it clear to their followers that the person is now to be pushed away. Anyone who does not follow this will face a similar treatment.
Many people say the right thing in public because they do not want to be seen as mean. However, it is what we say in private, to our best friends, supporters, and colleagues that truly forms us. It makes up our energy field and defines us. Although we think people do not know what we say and do in private to trusted allies, others do know. They often find out and even if they don’t, others can sense our integrity or lack of it.
In all of this, there is no sense of maturity or goodwill or confidence in one’s own life path. If we want to have good karma, good relationships, and personal and professional respect then we must become a person worthy of that, in private as much as in public. We can have our place in life and protect our talents without tyrannising anyone. We can give people their freedom, knowing that if they go away they were not meant for us and they are meant to be somewhere else. If they come and go then we can be grateful to share some of life with them. If they freely stay with us then we have a responsibility to give our whole-hearted best to them. Happiness always comes at a price. In this case, the price is transparency, letting be, and genuine love. No-one in our life will ever feel like a prisoner.
This article is from Love’s Longing