Many people chastise themselves for not believing in themselves. Such belief is crucial to our development and happiness. However, the common approach to getting it is flawed and won’t help us. Mostly, what people really mean is to believe that they are better than other people, often, particular people known to them. Human nature constantly compares itself to others to work out how it is doing.
Our success in this venture will determine our self-esteem. The problem is obvious. There will always be people better than us in any area of life so it is a never-ending path with only momentary success here and there. Further, what we give out returns to us in like. We will be living in an uncomfortable world where that which benefits one does not benefit all. There will be smiling assassins everywhere.
Fortunately, we don’t need to be better than anyone else to be happy. We do, however, need to fulfil our own potential. If we do not, we will feel restless and incomplete. If we are working towards fulfilling our specific individual potential then we will feel satisfied. We will not feel starving. We will not be grabbing, moaning or thinking about abandoning ship. We will not be unduly concerned when things don’t seem to be going our way. We will have patience with ourselves, other people, and the process of life. We will feel that our progression is inevitable because we have aligned with what can only lead to success.
Sometimes, on the way to dancing, I have a certain conversation with myself. “I must be the luckiest person alive,” I say. “Why?” I ask myself thinking that it is a rather grandiose statement. “Because I get to dance.” Most people, probably, wouldn’t think they were the luckiest person ever because they could go dancing. Even if they loved dancing, they would often be thinking of all the things wrong with dancing – their progress or stagnation, injuries, future, dance partners, teachers, students, what they can afford or not, and opportunities.
Not By Accident
We don’t have desires by accident. Good desires are planted in us because we are meant to follow them, explore them, wrestle with them, and have them form us. If we do this and do it in the right way, the result is happiness. If we do anything in the right way, the result is happiness.
The happiness doesn’t actually come from the activity. It comes from aligning with our deeper Self. We will have ultimate faith in ourselves because the faith is in our larger Self which has a mighty backing. Our smaller self can be so petty and vulnerable. It is, more often than not, competitive, nasty, insecure, worried, and highly jealous. Our deeper Self looks on all these traits as childish. It is interested in the good of all, knowing that such is our greatest assurance and protection. It doesn’t talk shallow, empty words with divisive, empty smiles. The well-being of one, even if that one is oneself, is not separated from the well-being of all.
Although it serves us to not be delusional about what we are capable of, often, we are surprised by what we can do when we commit to it without fear. Other times, we must live with our limitations or destiny and find the joy in what we are able to do with what we have been given. To believe in ourselves doesn’t mean to build ourselves up with unrealistic thoughts of how marvellous we are going to be with little evidence to support our theoretical greatness. But nor does it mean to belittle ourselves and feel worthless. At some level, we are instinctively aware of the gifts we have been given and the extent of them. They will seek expression for our whole life until they feel they have been given enough room to move.