A Mind of Its Own
Although highly enjoyable (at certain stages), falling in love is problematic. The first problem is who we can fall in love with. We can fall in love with anyone:
- a gay person when we are not gay (or maybe we are gay but the wrong gender)
- a married person who happens to be not married to us (or we could be the married person falling in love with someone other than our partner)
- an unsuitable person in terms of age, personality, lifestyle, or future goals
- or, worst of all, a person who doesn’t love us in return.
However, even if we fall in love with a gender and sexual orientation-appropriate, availability-appropriate, age and life goals-appropriate person, falling in love is still highly problematic because of the inherent dynamic of the process itself. This leads to our second problem – the design of the falling in love mechanism. Falling in love seeks to achieve a thing that it is incapable of achieving. It seeks wholeness but inevitably leads to pain, fear, and failure. We need not give up on love but we do need to understand it. Continue reading “The Trouble with Falling in Love”