Nice is Not Always Nice

Being nice may seem loving but it can be driven by a diverse range of underlying motives such as wanting to be liked, fear of rejection or wanting a favour. All of these motives are weak and inherently do not work. Trying to be popular never gets the result. Trying to be loved never makes us loved. Trying to get respect never makes us respected. Pacifying and being conciliatory towards damaging people does not turn them into well-intended, trustworthy creatures. Continue reading “Nice is Not Always Nice”

Spiritual Love

Companionship, love, and support are everywhere and ever-present. They are the natural outflow of divinity. The greater our sense of primary divine connection, the more easily will these beautiful resources of Life be attracted into our existence. How could it be otherwise since we are reflecting not our own but Life’s wonderful, appealing, and valuable qualities? Continue reading “Spiritual Love”

What Are We Afraid Of?

On the opposite end of the scale to the needy person is the excessively non-needy person. They have their own problems. Usually, the reason that the person is non-needy is because they have put a lot of effort into protecting themselves from other people, generally for good reason. They have learned that emotional independence is an effective means of protection. And it is. However, the emotional independence often becomes isolation. It pushes everyone away. It is indiscriminate. It cannot distinguish between what is harmful and what is beneficial. Everyone is lumped into the same basket of not to be trusted. Continue reading “What Are We Afraid Of?”

Love and Peace

Love has a tremendous power to heal. Usually, it is the only thing which can heal. Before we can recognize the invisible love of the Divine, most people will need to feel it through the love of another person. It may be the unconditional love of a mother or father. It may be the genuine love of a partner; that trusted person who holds a unique space in our heart. Continue reading “Love and Peace”

Heartache

The more we give from our heart, the bigger it becomes.

Much of our heartache in life comes not from other people but from our expectations of other people and what we feel they should bring into our lives. If our heartaches were truly caused by other people, we would have little power to heal our hurt. Healing would primarily be left to the passage of time and, even then, the big heartaches could easily be reignited. The often unrecognised factors which have brought about our heartache will be based on a myriad of beliefs ranging from reasonable to downright ridiculous. However, this makes no difference at all to the pain we feel because our pain is not coming from our mind but from our heart. It’s no point arguing with the heart. It doesn’t help to talk reason. The heart doesn’t even hear. It doesn’t know that language. It is instinctive – for good and bad. Whereas the mind will try and patiently think through the reasonableness of any situation, the heart is powerless to do so. The heart is all feeling and it flows from a great line of experiences and expectations both remembered and forgotten. Continue reading “Heartache”

The Wild Beast of Pain

Emotional pain is an unavoidable part of life. There is no more certain reminder that we are not in control of our own life. It leaves us standing stunned and grasping for relief. Strangely, we need not run from it and hide. We can meet the wild beast of pain in its own territory, as inadequately prepared as we may feel. Against our natural instinct, we can choose to go to the pain and into it. Our survival mechanism will tell us that such would be certain emotional death. Surprisingly, it is not. Continue reading “The Wild Beast of Pain”

Pull Inwards and Outwards

Leanne spoke with naked emotion, almost desperation, in her voice. She knew what she was doing was ridiculous but no amount of talking herself out of it seemed to help. She loved her partner, Peter, and they were true friends. They were not young when they became a couple and so they both brought with them lots of life experience and many friendships somewhere in the background of their lives. It was one of those friendships that was causing the problem. Peter was a sociable, amiable man who enjoyed his long list of both male and female friends. He was one of those guys who treats women the same way that he treats men. He was great friend material – attentive, loyal, and completely non-invasive. One of his long-time female friends asked him to attend a function with her. It was the function of a mutual friend, they were both invited, and for practical reasons Leanne was not going to be attending. To Peter, it seemed a nice idea – logical and a pleasant opportunity to spend some quality time with his old friend. Continue reading “Pull Inwards and Outwards”