The Love of Being Loving
“All desirable qualities are, in essence, spiritual ideas. Beauty, purity, love, kindness, warmth, joy, humour, creativity, talent, power, intelligence, protection, and forthrightness are expressions of God manifest in the world. We appreciate every lovely quality that comes to us through the life of another but, ultimately, God is the source of all good, not another person. Our connection with others is primarily based on letting the inner spiritual beauty spring forth into life in the many and varied ways it will choose to do so. Our happiness, peace, safety, and individual development is protected and we find that all things will work together for good.”
“Much misery in caused in relationships by the expectation that the other person can and should be a personal provider of good for us. This expectation brings an endless array of problems and is one which we need to outgrow as individuals who are seeking freedom from the troubles of the human condition. No person is able to give what only divine Love can give. Relationships, of their own power, cannot give us the love and happiness that really have a Divine, not human, origin. We don’t ask from other people what only God can supply.”
“One who knows their connection with divine Love can never feel the isolation of loneliness or the fear of being rejected or deserted. One cannot be apart from or turned away from a Love which knows no parting and is present and available under all circumstances.”
“One of the first serious spiritual practices I learned in my early twenties was to watch what I was talking about. It is unfortunate but not surprising that most people have no idea what they are saying, to whom, and the consequences of that on themselves and others. If we want to be happy; don’t gossip, don’t spread hate, don’t talk about other people, don’t spread fear, don’t complain, don’t relay stories which are detrimental to the well-being of those around us. That willcut out the vast majority of most people’s conversations. There is a time for honest, well-intentioned directness but it is not found in common conversation and it is a learned skill. Be a bringer of peace and healing. It’s a discipline, for sure, but one that will transform our lives.”
“As spiritual students, we need to be careful that the influence we have on other people in our conversations is for good only. We also need to be careful about what we allow into our own thoughts. We become conscious of what we do and say, and of what we see and hear. We do not engage in idle or intentional gossip which undermines someone else’s integrity or which spreads the seeds of fear by talking unthinkingly about illness, disasters, and all the other fears that run rampant in the world. We may talk lightly but never carelessly and we constantly keep at bay the flow of common, ignorant thought which runs its damaging course through the pathways of ordinary human conversation. Whenever there is an opportunity, our conversation seeks to validate, in some humble way, the beauty and love which constantly upholds us all.”
“True love is communicated nonverbally. It is set by our intention. If our intention is not at a level that is gracious, compassionate, and loving then no amount of sweet talk will ever convince the recipient of our goodwill. On the other hand, if our inner-being radiates peace and unselfish care then our presence will have a reassuring, uplifting, and healing effect, no matter what we say or omit to say. The recipient of our words will have a tendency to respect and appreciate us and will gravitate towards us.”
The Love of Devotion
“We can learn to become open to all the varied and, sometimes, unexpected ways in which love will bless us and use us.”
“The country does what the city cannot. It quietens the mind and brings simplicity into one’s life. The city does what the country cannot. It enlivens the mind and brings culture into one’s life.”
“If possible, it is best to have a balance between the civilisation of city life and the solitude of country living. Too much solitude and we can become isolated and lose the benefit of human culture, progress, and communication. Too much urban life and we lose our spiritual essence and our fundamental native homeostasis. Many people instinctively withdraw to the country or the seaside when they feel the noise of city life is drowning out the quiet, inner voice of peace. The country does what the city cannot. It quietens the mind and brings simplicity into one’s life. The city does what the country cannot. It enlivens the mind and brings culture into one’s life. We try to engage with both and benefit from the well-roundedness of a complete experience of all that life has to offer.”
“In the bedroom, three are present – the two partners and the Divine. Use the openness and vulnerability of the sexual arena to grow closer to God and give that same gift to your loved one.”
“A balanced, inner calmness radiates from a peaceful centre. It neither craves others’ approval nor rejects others’ presence. It neither pulls towards nor pushes away. It has a reverent attitude towards life and all its inhabitants. It has compassion for the inevitable weaknesses of the human condition. It has nothing to gain from others’ approval. It is not self-seeking. It is not needy, grabbing or manipulative. It embodies gracious respect for everything beautiful including other human souls. It has a lively freedom, a happy composure, a quick and engaging wit, and an intelligent, interested, and interesting mental attitude.”
“Everyone is a ‘spiritual student’ doing ‘spiritual work’ because everyone is here and has to cope, one way or another, with life. The difference is that an aware person learns from their pain and they eventually create a happy life. An unaware person also has pain. However, as they do not know (or do not want to know) how to help themselves, they learn little or nothing from their pain. Thus their journey to happiness is long and indirect.”
“Some people have a seemingly quiet life but they are noisy inside. Some people have a seemingly busy life but they have a quietness within. To lessen the inner noise we can develop self-awareness, introspection, and stillness. We grow in solitude. We need quiet times. They make our life happier and less problematic. They move us closer to glowing health, agelessness, peace, prosperity, clear thinking, inspired ideas, harmonious and interesting relationships, and effective problem solving. They secure our personal and spiritual progress. As we become more conscious through the practice of quiet times, we progressively lose the problems of illness, stress, confusion, and relationship breakdowns. By having quiet times, we start to wake up.”
“Seeing the commonality of human thought helps us to view our ego tendencies in a less personal and more universal way. It relieves guilt and gives lightness to the path by virtue of the collective and general nature of human experience. The ego is a shared human problem and its dissolution is a benefit to all mankind. Human life is inevitably filled with many hurts and injustices. We do not live in a world of enlightened beings, nor are we enlightened ourselves. We live in a world where most people are struggling, unhappy, and having numerous problems of all sorts.”
“No one has to be a martyr. On the contrary, everyone should be entirely selfish; not selfish in the normal sense of the word but selfish in the way of knowing that the spiritual path means we value everything which adds to our own well-being. When we love, we live with connectedness. When we forgive, we feel stress-free. When we create, we live with inspiration. When we follow our inner direction, we feel alive. Is that even a choice?”
“Life is naturally going to have ups and downs, comings and goings, pleasures and hardships, joy and pain. Let us be kind to ourselves, understanding that we are here to learn. And let us be kind to others, knowing that peace is the ultimate prize of life and nothing is worth more. Simply to side with peace is to disempower the ego’s hold. In so doing, the natural, beautiful, and healing rhythms of life have a chance to start singing their sweet song in our listening ear.”
“Every thought and every deed is forever recorded in the invisible history of life and cannot help but come back to us in kind. In fact, that is how we evolve. We pay for our mistakes by suffering. We are rewarded for our progress through added happiness. It is not that God punishes or rewards us. It is the natural and inevitable working of life, the unavoidable consequences that will always return to us. We do not have to punish our so-called enemies. We do not have to punish ourselves for our own mistakes. Our own resulting suffering is enough punishment and will ensure our eventual progress. Self-healing is based on a willingness to understand our own vulnerabilities and weaknesses, and then to forgive them all. If we knew better, we would do better. There is an inbuilt innocence intrinsic to our nature as part of our human existence. It is the child within which causes us such problems and refuses to grow up. We acknowledge the truth about God’s child, the higher innate innocence of all beings.”
“To forgive oneself does not negate the need to undo mistakes. True forgiveness desires to make things right. Making things right is not equivalent to guilt. The need to undo mistakes cannot be replaced by guilt. In fact, being immobilised by guilt is an avoidance of fixing things up. It makes one powerless and gives one an excuse to remain passive and negligent. To continuously feel guilty over wrong doing is both ego-confirmatory and ineffective in correcting bad karma. Guilt is the initial spur to action. Then we act in order to correct both our thoughts and the karma, and we leave the guilt behind.”
“The greatest gift we can give the world is our own evolution.”
“It is our deepest hurts which have the power to help and heal us. What else carries an internal fire big enough to force us forwards? What else has the momentum to wake us up? What else has enough pain to make us long for something better? What else will drive us into the waiting arms of that beautiful, invisible life-force which yearns to help us? What else will teach us to feel the love which has no betrayal; the love which seeks only good?”
“Truly loving people are uncommon. They are as uncommon as awake people. Our success in learning about love will directly correlate to our level of happiness. It is certainly worth persevering with the learning process which involves a great deal of honesty, introspection, and forgiveness. Even if we are the only one in the relationship on that path, it doesn’t matter. We will still be blessed with our own happiness and isn’t that the bottom line of what we all want? Our first responsibility is to create a happy life for ourselves. If the other person in the relationship learns to also value love, honesty, and forgiveness then the relationship will transform, usually slowly, into a strong connection which is good for the couple and others alike.”
“Relationships matter. Who they are with and in what form they manifest is secondary to the quality of the relationship. Is it truthful? Is it life-changing? Are we present? Is the other person ‘there’? Does it engage us? Does it help us grow? Relationships ultimately teach us love but we need to be available to learn it.”
“People hurting us, helps us to let go of wanting them to love us. It is the beginning of learning how to love purely.”
“It is for the very reason that we cannot control other people and that they may be very different to us that something alive and interesting may happen in life.”
“We don’t know when a compatible person will come into our life. We don’t know, for sure, if they will leave or stay. If they leave, we don’t know if they will return. We don’t know if we will always feel the relationship is compatible and if we will want to be there. We don’t really know anything. We can only graciously accept what life brings and all the terror of change that comes with it and then keep moving forward. Life is not static. It doesn’t start nor does it end. It changes form. It is ongoing with highs and lows, successes and crushing failures, experiments, beautiful moments, touching visions, angers, forgiveness, awe, and love.”
“If we learn not to grab, insist, manipulate, or force then the precious moments have more chance of just appearing, usually when we are not looking. They may even stay a little longer, if we do not grasp onto them insisting that they do not move. With practice, consistency, and commitment to the evolution of the partnership, something beautiful and meaningful has a chance of evolving.”
“I am always safe.
I am protected by God who cares for me day and night.
God’s power is infinitely greater than any power to the contrary.
The angels are around me, keeping me safe, and whispering good things into the ears of my friends and enemies.
There are many, passed-over loved ones (even those I do not know) who watch over me and pray for me.
I have a purpose on Earth and God will help me to fulfil it.
I release my fears. I am at peace.”
“A bad fight is anything which does not help to move the relationship and the people involved forward. If one dominates the other, it will eventually be at the expense of the relationship. Everything depends on the intention. If the intention is to hurt, belittle, ignore, reject or win then good will struggle to come from that. If the intention is to wrestle with some boundaries and deal with unresolved issues then that is positive and important. Love for the other person and respect for their rights, as well as our own rights, will set a steady course for any argument. Of most value is a sincere desire to make the relationship work which, after all, is often why we fight. We want the relationship to honestly work.”
“We give our all to our relationships. We give our love, pain, joy, fear, and hope. We give our body, mind, and spirit. We trust the other person with all that we are. Fighting is a small price to pay for the opportunity to give something as beautiful as a person’s whole being. The really beneficial relationships are the ones where we are deeply connected to the other. Sometimes, they tear us apart and then reform us. They can be painful and scary ventures. One has to have courage. One day, there will be nothing left to fight about.”
“Contrary to popular opinion, the primary goal of relationships is not to make us happy. Relationships make us grow. That growth will, with time, naturally increase our happiness. Growth has a price, and that’s the bit we don’t like paying. It ranges from uncomfortable to downright tortuous depending on the issue, how deeply seated it is, how much work we have previously done on it, how resistant we are to working on it, and how much painful emotion is attached to the issue from past experiences. At any price, it’s still a bargain.”
“If we are afraid of the pain of grief, we will be afraid of confrontation. We may not leave relationships that should be left for fear of grief. We may be reluctant to enter into relationships that should be entered into for fear of them not working and the consequent suffering. Love, surprisingly, helps to heal the loss of love. Not the soppy love of romantics. Not the self-seeking love of infatuated would-be lovers. Not weak, needy love, but real love. It says, ‘No matter what, I will do what is best for you, me, my child, my friend, and those I dedicate my love to. If that is painful, I will still choose it.’”
“Human love is the shadow of the Great love; its child. And of all human loves, it is romantic love which has the most riveting effect upon our soul. Ageless and perennial, it is forever finding an outlet in poetry, music, dance, story-telling, and the media. We never tire of it. It commands attention at so many turns, such is the longing for its presence in our life. It is not by accident that it has such an unfailing pull on our psyche. If we cannot connect with visible human love, we will not be able to find the invisible Love. Human love is leading us, most of us unknowingly, straight to the divinity of our own nature. And that nature leads us, in turn, to the source of life itself.”
“The driving motivation of a spiritual teacher is to show that while the extent of human problems is understood, there is a different way of seeing life.”
“All love is good, and all love leads to the same place.”