Healing of Abuse

One of the damaging things that can happen in life is sexual abuse. That is particularly so when it comes from a parent or a religious figure who is meant to carry the purity of love and guardianship. It leaves the body of the victim with a distrust and disgust of one of nature’s most brilliant inventions – the human body capable of and programmed for sexual bonding. It leaves the heart of the victim with a black hole of emotional wariness and fear. Oh yes, it’s damaging alright. Obviously, the innocent need to be protected and the guilty called to justice and contained. This helps, but does it heal? Does it heal the body? Does it heal the heart? No. Continue reading “Healing of Abuse”

Pull Inwards and Outwards

Leanne spoke with naked emotion, almost desperation, in her voice. She knew what she was doing was ridiculous but no amount of talking herself out of it seemed to help. She loved her partner, Peter, and they were true friends. They were not young when they became a couple and so they both brought with them lots of life experience and many friendships somewhere in the background of their lives. It was one of those friendships that was causing the problem. Peter was a sociable, amiable man who enjoyed his long list of both male and female friends. He was one of those guys who treats women the same way that he treats men. He was great friend material – attentive, loyal, and completely non-invasive. One of his long-time female friends asked him to attend a function with her. It was the function of a mutual friend, they were both invited, and for practical reasons Leanne was not going to be attending. To Peter, it seemed a nice idea – logical and a pleasant opportunity to spend some quality time with his old friend. Continue reading “Pull Inwards and Outwards”

Sitting In the Stalls of Life

I looked across the ice rink from where I was sitting and what I saw brought tears to my eyes. It was such a simple thing – just a boy and a girl, becoming a young man and a young woman. My son was still very much a beginner skater. Skating is such a technically demanding sport, it takes years to become competent. However, even though he was a beginner, he was a male figure skater. Anyone in the skating or dancing world knows what that means. A good male skater or dancer is highly valued and is in great demand. And so, it was not surprising that from the moment we arrived, all the young female skaters would have definitely been aware of my son’s presence. It’s great for the ego! Continue reading “Sitting In the Stalls of Life”

Connection

Every intimate relationship with a partner will bring back old, unfinished childhood-parenting issues. They lie in wait, to resurface in a different context – one in which we are an adult and can start to process things that were beyond us as a child to even understand, let alone resolve. The parent who abandoned, for example, is not gone. The whole issue and every emotion attached to it will come stomping back into the arena under the guise of an adult relationship. When we look for a partner, the last thing people generally want is some connection to their own, usually faulty, upbringing. However, the in-built healing push in humans will make the connection inevitable. Continue reading “Connection”