Relationships and Commitment

All significant relationships have a price. It’s not that relationships are a sacrifice. After all, who wants a life of sacrifice? It is more a matter of priorities. We can’t do everything in life and we can’t be with everyone in life. In choosing what we will do and with whom, we automatically make priorities. If something is at the top of our list then other things have to come second or third or last. Continue reading “Relationships and Commitment”

The Trouble with Falling in Love

A Mind of Its Own

Although highly enjoyable (at certain stages), falling in love is problematic. The first problem is who we can fall in love with. We can fall in love with anyone:

  • a gay person when we are not gay (or maybe we are gay but the wrong gender)
  • a married person who happens to be not married to us (or we could be the married person falling in love with someone other than our partner)
  • an unsuitable person in terms of age, personality, lifestyle, or future goals
  • or, worst of all, a person who doesn’t love us in return.

However, even if we fall in love with a gender and sexual orientation-appropriate, availability-appropriate, age and life goals-appropriate person, falling in love is still highly problematic because of the inherent dynamic of the process itself. This leads to our second problem – the design of the falling in love mechanism. Falling in love seeks to achieve a thing that it is incapable of achieving. It seeks wholeness but inevitably leads to pain, fear, and failure. We need not give up on love but we do need to understand it. Continue reading “The Trouble with Falling in Love”

Together: Touched

Chapter 39: Miss You

Amira was admiring a different generation of sweet peas. This lot were winding up the footpath railing and onto the front doorsteps. They seemed to be singing a soft, repetitive song. Tell him you miss him. Tell him you miss him.

After a while, Amira caught on and replied, “No, I won’t.”

Tell him you miss him.

“No, he’s married.”

Tell him you miss him. Continue reading “Together: Touched”