Family Tension

Many people think that it is only their own family that is dysfunctional and try to keep such things secret. Holiday periods, in particular, are notorious for family friction. If the tension gets strained enough, it will erupt leaving those in its wake battered and bewildered. The first step to healing such feuds and tensions is to be honest about their existence. The second is to discern the underlying issues which are beneath the, usually, trivial setting-off of the conflict. The third is to let wisdom and common sense speak about either boundary setting or, if it is possible, an honest and sincere reconciliation. Fourth, regardless of one’s decisions and actions, without forgiveness we will accumulate yet another grudge, adding to the many that are already part of a normal human consciousness. To carry a grudge is to shorten one’s life, poison one’s health, and contract one’s heart. Knowing this makes forgiveness an easier choice. Continue reading “Family Tension”

Balance

It is wise to do our very best in every area of life to improve our well-being and happiness. If we feel that our life is not balanced then it is a good idea to take stock of the energy we put into the various aspects of our being. Are we physically well? Do we need more exercise? Do we respect our body by giving it what it needs to eat? Are we physically ill in some way? Ignoring one’s physical problems is hardly a recipe for health. Are we mentally stressed? Do we take enough time each day, week, and year to relax and relieve our nervous system? Can we organise and prioritise our life so that we not suffering from constant nervous exertion? Many of our time problems are really priority issues. Do we challenge our mental capacities? Do we read and think about issues of importance to us? Do we take the opportunities to further our knowledge, understanding and, if appropriate, qualifications in our fields of interest? Do we monitor our emotions so that they do not lead us on a merry chase? Do we demonstrate gratitude for life by doing things we love to do and furthering the talents God has given us? Do we consistently, patiently, unselfishly, and sincerely practice love and forgiveness? Do we practice these same virtues towards ourselves? Continue reading “Balance”

Spoiling

Spoiling someone is not love. It creates misery for those who live the illusion that life rotates around them, that they are entitled. Spoiling loved ones is not an endearing quality of loving. It is a disservice to oneself and the loved one. This also applies to dogs. We may believe that we are unselfishly caring for our loved ones by putting their needs and desires before our own but, actually, we may simply be spoiling them. Love does what is truly best for the others’ long-term development and happiness. Spoiling someone is driven by insecurity – a desire to be liked, loved, approved of, and accepted. True love is driven by wisdom, self-confidence, unselfishness, and common sense. It seeks to encourage the growth of independence in the other so that true self-respect can germinate. Continue reading “Spoiling”

Taking the Lead

It is best for the more spiritually advanced person in a relationship to take the lead in areas which require spiritual wisdom. In this way, both people will benefit and be free to continue their development unfettered. Many pitfalls will be avoided. If the lesser evolved person takes the lead then the other person will become frustrated in his or her being. The lesser evolved person will also have a tendency to remain at the level they feel comfortable with. To be spiritually more evolved is not synonymous with calling oneself spiritual. Many so-called spiritual people radiate superiority. Contrary to having a genuinely superior nature their lives are full of problems, relationship breakdowns, illness, and financial incompetence. Personal weaknesses such as pride, anger, emotional immaturity, jealousy, and denial about the state of one’s own being are frequently overlooked. Self-righteousness, moral superiority, and desire for control do not belong in the realm of the spiritually trustworthy. Continue reading “Taking the Lead”