Heartache – video

The first step in healing is to take responsibility.
The second step in healing is to realise that there are other ways of getting what we want.

(This article was originally published September 2015. The video is new.)

Heartache
Much of our heartache in life comes not from other people but from our expectations of other people and what we feel they should bring into our lives. If our heartaches were truly caused by other people, we would have little power to heal our hurt. Healing would primarily be left to the passage of time and, even then, the big heartaches could easily be reignited. The often unrecognised factors which have brought about our heartache will be based on a myriad of beliefs ranging from reasonable to downright ridiculous. However, this makes no difference at all to the pain we feel because our pain is not coming from our mind but from our heart. It’s no point arguing with the heart. It doesn’t help to talk reason. The heart doesn’t even hear. It doesn’t know that language. It is instinctive – for good and bad. Whereas the mind will try and patiently think through the reasonableness of any situation, the heart is powerless to do so. The heart is all feeling and it flows from a great line of experiences and expectations both remembered and forgotten. Continue reading “Heartache – video”

The Loss and Gain of Friendships

We all experience the loss of friends and changes in our relationships. It may be our decision, the other person’s, jointly decided or something thrust upon us by life. The loss may have come from something negative like jealousy, ill-will, anger or fear. It may have come from a decision based on what seemed best for all concerned. It may have been the natural outcome of something that life brought into the arena. Regardless, we can practise these principles of healing and growth: Continue reading “The Loss and Gain of Friendships”