Relationships matter. Who they are with and in what form they manifest is secondary to the quality of the relationship. Is it truthful? Is it life-changing? Are we present? Is the other person “there”? Does it engage us? Does it help us grow? Relationships ultimately teach us love but we need to be available to learn it. Continue reading “Connection”
Relationships don’t break down because of affairs. Relationships break down because of what is happening within the relationship itself. Affairs are the end result, not the precipitating factor. That doesn’t mean that the participants are aware of the breakdown and, even less, that they have openly communicated about it. However, when the relationship has already started to dismantle, at an underlying level, one or both people are vulnerable to being drawn into a relationship with another person. Not infrequently, having an affair is someone’s unconscious way of being able to move on from the relationship. It’s not a great way and it will carry the karma of betrayal. Honest communication, although painful and inevitably angry, is preferable.
How To Not Have An Affair: Continue reading “Relationships and Affairs”
Unless we are a puppy, neediness is not cool. Neediness in humans over the age of five is not a winning approach to life. There is a difference between seeking and asking for what we truly need and neediness as a character trait. We have a tendency to be repelled by needy people. There is a part of us that would love to crawl up in a little ball on the sofa and call out to Mummy to feed us and Daddy to protect us. Most of us refrain from doing that. The most trustworthy assurance against neediness is an emotional and spiritual maturity which gives us a calm, quiet confidence. We know that there is a Higher Power or Life Principles which we can lean on so as not to lean too heavily on others. We accept everything good in life which comes from other people. However, we do not demand, coerce, beg or passively manipulate people into giving us anything. We get what we need by allowing the positive principles of Life to guide our steps. Continue reading “Need and Neediness”
Some people do not have to consider the issue of infidelity because they are not able to attract the attention and affection of anyone to be faithful or otherwise to. For such a one, the task of this lifetime is to become a more beautiful person so that others will be drawn to them. It is the person’s inner being – their confidence, engagingness, and contribution to life – which will have the most impact on an increase in attractiveness. It is surprising to see how supposedly ordinary looking people suddenly seem to radiate beauty when they have improved their level of happiness and self-esteem. People look at them whereas previously they were ignored and overlooked. Continue reading “Fidelity and Infidelity”
In life, there are so many people who need love but we cannot personally love everyone. We must find those who belong to our own particular karmic groupings. How do we make such important decisions? Whenever we decide to invest a considerable amount of time in one person or a group of people, we can make that choice based on a feeling of rightness in our soul. The rightness may be recognisable by a sense of peace or happiness or balance. It may be recognisable by a sense of destiny unfolding as it should. It could be that the thought of leaving someone or something, in some form, feels distinctly unsatisfactory. Many of our human connections are not logically explainable. They come from the unconscious. The unconscious, karma, and destiny are all siblings. Karmic connectedness means that we are destined to play a part in certain people’s lives because we have a higher connection which cannot be easily broken. Continue reading “Destined Relationships”