Ide watched Fabian walking unsteadily down his driveway towards the builders in the backyard. He hadn’t dressed properly. He had no underwear on and his track pants were ripped so that anyone who looked (perhaps, it was impossible not to look) could see his backside. Somehow, it was still a good looking backside for all that Fabian had put his body through in recent years. There was no point telling Fabian that he hadn’t dressed properly. He was too sick. Along the way, things like dignity get lost. Continue reading “The Sly Deceivers – short story”
Every intimate relationship with a partner will bring back old, unfinished childhood-parenting issues. They lie in wait, to resurface in a different context – one in which we are an adult and can start to process things that were beyond us as a child to even understand, let alone resolve. The parent who abandoned, for example, is not gone. The whole issue and every emotion attached to it will come stomping back into the arena under the guise of an adult relationship. When we look for a partner, the last thing people generally want is some connection to their own, usually faulty, upbringing. However, the in-built healing push in humans will make the connection inevitable. Continue reading “Connection”
Relationships don’t break down because of affairs. Relationships break down because of what is happening within the relationship itself. Affairs are the end result, not the precipitating factor. That doesn’t mean that the participants are aware of the breakdown and, even less, that they have openly communicated about it.
How To Not Have An Affair: Continue reading “Relationships and Affairs”
My father died suddenly when I was seventeen. Protective and adoring but totally unspoiling, he was my first great love. I have an image in my mind of sitting alone in the funeral car, waiting for everyone to come out of the little country church and drive to the town’s dusty cemetery whose small number of inhabitants are mostly a list of relatives. Sitting there motionless, I had such a bottomless emptiness inside me that crying seemed irrelevant. Some things are too sad for tears. Continue reading “Those Who Belong To Us”
In life, there are so many people who need love but we cannot personally love everyone. We must find those who belong to our own particular karmic groupings. How do we make such important decisions? Whenever we decide to invest a considerable amount of time in one person or a group of people, we can make that choice based on a feeling of rightness in our soul. The rightness may be recognisable by a sense of peace or happiness or balance. It may be recognisable by a sense of destiny unfolding as it should. It could be that the thought of leaving someone or something, in some form, feels distinctly unsatisfactory. Many of our human connections are not logically explainable. They come from the unconscious. The unconscious, karma, and destiny are all siblings. Karmic connectedness means that we are destined to play a part in certain people’s lives because we have a higher connection which cannot be easily broken. Continue reading “Destined Relationships”
In order to enjoy a close and intimate bond with our partner, we need to be mindful of the emotional state of the relationship. Without an honest and genuine emotional bond of trust, a high quality sexual relationship will never be achieved. Sex will become non-existent or the domain of one controlling partner over one submissive partner or a mutual using of each other’s body. Each individual brings with them all that they are outside the bedroom walls into the sanctity of the enclosed bedroom space. With humour, goodwill, and enthusiasm, the skill level of both people can improve rapidly. A few good sex books can do wonders for a couple. We cannot assume that our partner understands the sexual needs of a body that has a different physical and emotional functioning to our own. Even gay couples cannot assume to know how a different person functions sexually, though it is the same structural type of body. Every good-natured experiment is one step closer to a more satisfying experience. A couple may even choose to investigate such ideas as the meridians and pressure points of Taoist foreplay if they would like their sexual relationship to become more holistic and healing. Continue reading “Intimacy – sexual relationships”