Thomas was a man who didn’t cry about himself. He cried at movies. That was other people’s lives. He was used to carrying on with his responsibilities. However, this particular day, Thomas was sobbing. Kathleen hugged him and said, “I’m so sorry Tom. We have been friends so long. I know you want us to be together but I feel that we are better as friends.” He apologised but kept crying. After many years of weariness in his personal life, Thomas finally had the opportunity to be with someone he wanted to be with. Thomas, also, knew that in order to move into the next stage of his life, he would need to change many things and those around him wouldn’t like it. Courage wasn’t his strong point. He was good. He wasn’t brave. Kathleen said she could help him as a friend. Thomas felt that it would not be enough. He was probably right. He loved Kathleen but, more than that, he needed her. Thomas felt that it was so close to getting what he wanted but Kathleen’s answer was still no. Continue reading “It Was Only Natural – short story”
This article is about how we change. Everyone is a “spiritual student” doing “spiritual work” because everyone is here and has to cope, one way or another, with life. The difference is that an aware person learns from their pain and they eventually create a happy life. An unaware person also has pain. However, as they do not know (or do not want to know) how to help themselves, they learn little or nothing from their pain. Thus their journey to happiness is long and indirect. The following article describes the process of going into painful emotions rather than running away from them or attempting to kill them with drugs or alcohol or any other means of temporary pain relief.
Many people wait until a crisis before they are willing to question their way of being in the world. However, as spiritual students, we have constant work in the moment-by-moment content of daily human life. We consistently practice the principles of healing and consciousness evolution. In many cases, this will prevent acute problems and crises from occurring. When they do occur, the healing process is already very familiar and so the stage of suffering is greatly reduced and, sometimes, completely eliminated. We can thus use all experiences of pain as grist for the mill of our spiritual development. Continue reading “Grist for the Mill”
Being nice may seem loving but it can be driven by a diverse range of underlying motives such as wanting to be liked, fear of rejection or wanting a favour. All of these motives are weak and inherently do not work. Trying to be popular never gets the result. Trying to be loved never makes us loved. Trying to get respect never makes us respected. Pacifying and being conciliatory towards damaging people does not turn them into well-intended, trustworthy creatures. Continue reading “Nice is Not Always Nice”
Chemicalization of thought is a metaphysical term referring to the mental and physical disturbance that frequently accompanies the process of change. It happens when loaded thoughts, emotions, and past events start to surface from the basement of our consciousness. Although not particularly enjoyable and often downright distressing, this process is immensely helpful in bringing to our awareness those thoughts that need healing and elevating. Continue reading “The Process of Change”
At certain times in our life, we can be faced with situations which we seem to get stuck in. If we are conscious enough, we will certainly work on the issues involved but we may still seem to be getting nowhere. All the while, the grey mist has its eyes on us; watching to see how long it can stay and if it can find its way deeper into our veins. We lose our joie du vie. We struggle to settle into our normal activities. We have to force ourselves to enter our daily life. Depending on our body type, we can lose or gain weight. Our favourite illnesses and injuries will have a tendency to start playing up as if the grey mist knows exactly where to go for the greatest effect. We will lose our creative impetus and our entire being can have a stubborn emptiness. Continue reading “The Grey Mist”
Relationships matter. Who they are with and in what form they manifest is secondary to the quality of the relationship. Is it truthful? Is it life-changing? Are we present? Is the other person “there”? Does it engage us? Does it help us grow? Relationships ultimately teach us love but we need to be available to learn it. Continue reading “Connection”
Many people have a fear of being accused of liking someone. It is meant as a put-down. It implies we are pathetic and delusional about our own worth. In order to avoid any such implication, we can go to great lengths to make sure that we never extend the hand of friendship or open our heart to another, in case it is misconstrued or rejected. As one becomes more whole within oneself, one naturally becomes less able to be humiliated. To be able to humiliate someone is a sure way of keeping that person in check. However, if we are not easily humiliated then we have taken a great power from our enemies. Continue reading “Likes and Attractions”
Relationships don’t break down because of affairs. Relationships break down because of what is happening within the relationship itself. Affairs are the end result, not the precipitating factor. That doesn’t mean that the participants are aware of the breakdown and, even less, that they have openly communicated about it. However, when the relationship has already started to dismantle, at an underlying level, one or both people are vulnerable to being drawn into a relationship with another person. Not infrequently, having an affair is someone’s unconscious way of being able to move on from the relationship. It’s not a great way and it will carry the karma of betrayal. Honest communication, although painful and inevitably angry, is preferable.
How To Not Have An Affair: Continue reading “Relationships and Affairs”
Life has cycles. We move into things and we move out of things. Some of the more challenging movements are when relationships end or when we lose someone that we love through death or another way or when something ends that is very important to us like a career. Other events which are much more positive can also be challenging, such as the formation of a relationship, getting married, buying a house or having a baby. All these types of events in life touch our inner world. They open a door inside us. Continue reading “Opening the Door to our Inner World”
Unless we are a puppy, neediness is not cool. Neediness in humans over the age of five is not a winning approach to life. There is a difference between seeking and asking for what we truly need and neediness as a character trait. We have a tendency to be repelled by needy people. There is a part of us that would love to crawl up in a little ball on the sofa and call out to Mummy to feed us and Daddy to protect us. Most of us refrain from doing that. The most trustworthy assurance against neediness is an emotional and spiritual maturity which gives us a calm, quiet confidence. We know that there is a Higher Power or Life Principles which we can lean on so as not to lean too heavily on others. We accept everything good in life which comes from other people. However, we do not demand, coerce, beg or passively manipulate people into giving us anything. We get what we need by allowing the positive principles of Life to guide our steps. Continue reading “Need and Neediness”