The Trouble with Falling in Love

A Mind of Its Own

Although highly enjoyable (at certain stages), falling in love is problematic. The first problem is who we can fall in love with. We can fall in love with anyone:

  • a gay person when we are not gay (or maybe we are gay but the wrong gender)
  • a married person who happens to be not married to us (or we could be the married person falling in love with someone other than our partner)
  • an unsuitable person in terms of age, personality, lifestyle, or future goals
  • or, worst of all, a person who doesn’t love us in return.

However, even if we fall in love with a gender and sexual orientation-appropriate, availability-appropriate, age and life goals-appropriate person, falling in love is still highly problematic because of the inherent dynamic of the process itself. This leads to our second problem – the design of the falling in love mechanism. Falling in love seeks to achieve a thing that it is incapable of achieving. It seeks wholeness but inevitably leads to pain, fear, and failure. We need not give up on love but we do need to understand it. Continue reading “The Trouble with Falling in Love”

Surrender and Wholeness – sexual relationships

The bedroom is the place of surrender. It is where we surrender to sleep each night. As Dr. Hora would say, “Sleep is practising to die.” We release from the day, from our troubles and worries and from our excitements and projects. We surrender to unconsciousness, never knowing for sure if we will wake up again. And, of course, the bedroom is the place where we make love.

Sex asks for a surrender to our own body, as well as a surrender to the body of our loved one. However, sex is not only about surrender. It is also about wholeness. Our body, healthy and alive, is only the starting point of that wholeness. Our auric field is the far greater part. It is this energy field which we are giving to our partner in the bedroom. No matter what we do or don’t do, say or don’t say, this energy field is speaking so loudly that it will certainly override all other conversations. Continue reading “Surrender and Wholeness – sexual relationships”