Waldmeer (Book 1 of Waldmeer): The Garden

The gardener walked into their lives bright and sharp. Her need was covered by a ready smile. She came from a house with walls that echoed loneliness. On the very first day, her eyes were drawn to the little flower in the corner of the garden. Its beauty was in its simplicity. The gardener’s jealousy was already born. She watched it every day. It moved to the breeze and reached for the sunshine. The flower did not complain about the dark, the wind or the cold. Its roots had strength unseen.

The little flower was called Amira. She was guarded by Farkas, the garden spirit. Farkas loved Amira most of all the garden residents. However, he was wounded. He had lived many lives and carried the damage inside himself. He, often, went away and they would not see him for long periods. Sometimes, Farkas would sit near Amira. He would then remember the things that he rarely let himself remember. He would rest there until the wind called him away again.

The gardener watched it all and her loathing grew darker. How can the little flower have such a hold over the garden spirit’s heart? she thought. One morning, before the rising light had given its blessing to the day, the gardener, sick with her own longing, left her bed and killed the little flower. Now, Farkas will learn to love me. He will come to look at me and feel alive. He will protect me instead of the pathetic, dead flower.

Healing Heartache

Much of our heartache comes not from other people but from our expectations of others and what we feel they should bring into our lives. If other people truly caused our heartaches, we would have little power to heal our hurt. Healing would primarily be left to the passage of time. Even then, the big heartaches could easily be reignited. 

It’s no point arguing with the heart. It doesn’t help to talk reason. The heart doesn’t even hear. It doesn’t know that language. It is instinctive—for good and bad. Whereas the mind will try and patiently think through the reasonableness of any situation, the heart is powerless to do so. The heart is all feeling and flows from a great line of experiences and expectations, both remembered and forgotten.

The most pressing thing we generally want from other people is a sense of love and security. It is a wonderful feeling to bask in the warmth of another’s affection, attention, and protectiveness. It is equally as un-wonderful to feel that the source of that love has somehow betrayed us. Once hurt, we can go through life shutting people out or keeping people around but blaming them. We can close the door of our heart. However, without our heart, we become an empty shell. Perhaps, an intelligent empty shell, but empty nevertheless. 

The heart carries the beat of life. 
It makes existence meaningful and beautiful. 
The heart bypasses language. It doesn’t lie. 
Everything moving and powerful has heart.

Peaceful Centre

A balanced, inner calmness radiates from a peaceful centre. It neither craves others’ approval nor rejects others’ presence. It neither pulls towards nor pushes away. It has a reverent attitude towards life and all its inhabitants. It has compassion for the inevitable weaknesses of the human condition. It has nothing to gain from others’ approval. It is not self-seeking. It is not needy, grabbing or manipulative. It embodies gracious respect for everything beautiful including other human souls. It has a lively freedom, a happy composure, a quick and engaging wit, and an intelligent, interested, and interesting mental attitude.

Life is Immortal

We are here to evolve. All life forms serve one ultimate purpose—to align themselves with the good, the beautiful, and the infinite. As human souls, this takes a tremendous amount of growth; much more than one short time on Earth can give. We gradually become more aligned to the higher life-force over a long period of soul evolution. What may seem a tragedy by the standard of one short lifetime is merely a page in an ongoing story which has a higher purpose and plot far beyond the momentary appearance. We can trust the Divine nature of the story with all its twists and turns. 

The Dark Night of the Soul

It is often in the utter despair of humanness that we become willing to consider deeply spiritual answers. The door and the guide will be different for people, but once the door is open, we are all in the same territory. Spiritual truth irretrievably alters our way of seeing reality and our ability to heal both ourselves and other people. Most spiritual awakening is due to a total disappointment in the human condition to provide any sense of substantial happiness. It is a blessing in disguise. Our greatest need is for the love and assurance that spiritual understanding brings. If it were not for the common experience of human lovelessness and limitation, we would not be driven to seek a higher love.

The Flame Ignites

I had resigned myself to the idea that dancing, for me, would be an unfulfilled yearning. In my mid-twenties, I told myself I was too old for dancing and should transfer all such longings into a more suitable outlet. The dancing flame was buried, and I took up the violin. Playing the violin was enjoyable enough, but I wasn’t a musician. I was a dancer.

In my early thirties, I went back to university to do a Diploma of Education so that I would be able to work as a teacher. I thought teaching would fit in with raising young children on my own. One of the short options in the diploma was dance. As soon as I began the dance option, the dancing flame ignited. It came alive. It was given oxygen, and it started to breathe with a great gust of enthusiasm and relief. I was amazed because I no longer knew it was there and certainly did not know the intensity with which it had waited for air. How wonderful it felt. How deeply it touched me. I felt something in me that was different to all the other parts of me, and it felt uniquely beautiful and satisfying. Alas, the dance option was over too quickly, and I returned to the academic task at hand.

When the Diploma of Education was completed, life carried on. One day, I asked myself if I needed to do something different to improve the quality of my life. Naturally, the dancing flame leapt at the opportunity as it had only recently felt its first breath in nearly a decade. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t take up dancing now,” warned my rational mind. “You are a responsible mother of two young children. Grown-up women don’t dance.”

“Oh, be quiet,” my free mind replied. “I could be dead in a year. Then what would it matter?” 

I did not die. I did take up dancing—in the form of ice skating. I skated for thirteen years with great enjoyment. Like a friend who was lost and then refound, the bond is protected at all costs. I later transferred to ballroom dancing, which I loved even more. 

Dancing has helped me feel connected to myself and life. It fulfils an inner drive that has remained with me since I was a young child with a treasured picture of beautiful ballet couple Margot Fonteyn and Rudolph Nureyev. I didn’t know who they were, but they were fascinating and lovely. We are no one else. We are ourselves. We must be that, with no regrets, if we wish to be happy. If we keep going forward, following our natural, intuitive, and sincere path, everything will tend to align with our good intention.

Learn more about Dance: A Spiritual Voice