How can we see things as they really are? It’s important, don’t you think? For example, honesty can seem like meanness, when really it may be love. Niceness can seem loving, when really it may not be at all. People can wish us dead and still be polite to us. And people can sometimes seem harsh, when they would give their life for us. The behaviour of a person does not necessarily correspond with their underlying intention. If we can’t see people clearly, we can end up trusting people and situations that are not in our best interest and dismissing people and situations which would make our life better and happier. It is not just in regards little things but if we understand the far-reaching and powerful effect of thought, we realise that it can even be a life and death matter. Thought is very powerful and the underlying intention is everything.
What is This For?
To get to the underlying intention of anything, it helps to ask ourselves, What is this for? We can ask it about everything. Eventually, it is not necessary to ask it so often as experience and wisdom lead the way with little effort. Once asked, we must listen for the answer. Don’t listen to the ego’s answer. Its answer will usually be the opposite of the truth. Ask with an open mind. If we discover that we are deceiving ourselves about some matter or that we have been deceived by someone else (intentionally or not) then that is a good discovery. Once we know what a particular venture or relationship is based on, we will also know its outcome. To those inexperienced in such thought processes, this may seem like magic or foolishness. It is not magic. It is simply understanding the human mind. And it is not foolish. Those who do not understand their own minds can never be fulfilled or happy.
Hating and Healing
We are not trying to understand intention so that we can then damn every person who thinks badly of us. We are trying to understand intention so that we are safer, our loved ones are safer, and so that our life projects are not sabotaged. And we want to help other people to become a better version of themselves. We are not blaming people for acting and thinking badly. Acting and thinking badly is normal in our world. We want things to improve. We want everyone to improve.
The general preference of the ego is to be nice until it doesn’t get its own way. Then, it will deteriorate into whatever type of behaviour it believes will work best. It may be angry and challenging. It may be seductive. It may be nicey-pie while secretly plotting its way to get what it wants. If none of this works then the ego usually deteriorates further into an uglier version of itself as the panic sets in. If you don’t believe this, see what happens next time you refuse to oblige an ego that you have previously obliged.
Instead of deteriorating into worse ego behaviour or depression because we didn’t get what we wanted, we may decide to use the opportunity to learn something valuable. We may look at ourselves and the many ways our ego drives us. We may start to question whether the ego really is our ally. If we think about it, we may realise that even if our ego gets what it wants, it barely even stops for breath. It moves onto the next thing, sure to guard its prize and determining to make the battle easier next time. If we are getting fed up with this self-defeating circus, we may start to question whether what the ego wants is really in our best interest after all.
Now, we are ready to take those first faltering steps on the road less travelled. It is an intelligent way. It may be challenging in parts, but the rewards are great. It’s a path that has to leave the ego behind. The ego will say in its dying defence that, without it, we will be nothing and that, as faulty as it is, it is better than nothing. Put it down anyway. Just for a moment. Look at yourself honestly. Try to speak truthfully to those around you. Do not be afraid to be disliked or misunderstood. Believe that there are wonderful things in life that are waiting for you.
Giving Up the Empire
Your higher Self will never build empires. It is not interested in empires, although the ego’s only cause is empire building in whatever way it can, with whoever it perceives as an ally, while trying to eliminate whoever it judges as an enemy. The path is not a challenge between one ego and another, one empire and another. Every situation is an opportunity to let the right things grow for everyone’s benefit. In fact, that is one of our guiding lights. We can ask ourselves, Is what I have in mind, a genuine sharing of something good and beautiful or is it masked in a beautiful wrapping which covers an uglier intention? Is it inclusive, sharing, and honest or is it exclusive, withholding, and self-centred?
Every day, we come to the fork, over and over. We can always take up a different option whenever we feel we would like to give it a try. We can put the ego down and pick up something better. How lovely and safe the world then becomes.
One Reply to “Love’s Longing: Not As It Seems”
What a lovely article. Thank you. This is the crux of the whole life journey really. The realisation that the ego intentions are always selfish. Remembering that “of mine own self, I can do nothing,” helps to put the ego in its place. Thank you so much.
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