Shame and Courage

For many of us, courage is not easily brought to the forefront but we pay the price for lack of it. I was five and it was Lent. The Catholic nuns at school had put a chart on the wall and said that anyone who went to the 6.00 a.m. Mass would get a gold star. Although the concept went over my head, my sister, who was one year older than me and knew much more about what was worth getting, seemed to be rather enthralled with the idea of getting the stars. So each morning, she and I would walk on our own to the little country church for the event that would earn us the treasured star. Continue reading “Shame and Courage”

Relationships are a Living Thing

My little girl was two years old and we were having a family outing at the famous London Zoo. While walking along beside her as she was having a pony ride, something suddenly occurred to me like a ray of sunshine streaming through the grey London skies. I looked intently at the young zoo attendant’s face. There was a brightness, sincerity, and happiness about her. She virtually bubbled along, pony in hand, happily carrying out her duties. She looked like she was living the life she wanted to live and was content and free as a result. Continue reading “Relationships are a Living Thing”

Making Mistakes

If we find it difficult to admit to mistakes, it is often because we have a harsh inner critic. Admitting to any mistake will inevitably mean heavy recrimination. Sigmund Freud called the inner critic, the superego. It monitors the behaviour of the individual. For numerous reasons, many people end up with very brutal and unforgiving superegos. And so, what choice does such a person have but to avoid admitting mistakes in order to avoid harsh treatment? Many of these same people will project those mistakes onto innocent others in their lives. I am sure it has happened to you that the very thing someone else is and you are not, is suddenly being thrust upon you as your own character trait. And more, there is no reasoning with the person who seems incapable of looking at themselves rationally. Continue reading “Making Mistakes”