The Universal Language of Happiness

One morning, I was in my front garden, digging around and trying to bring life and order back to the lovely, old garden of the small, inner-city 1930’s cottage I had recently moved into. An elderly Greek lady, who I recognized from several houses away, shuffled across the road in my direction. With kind, shining eyes she started to speak. Her accent was thick but I could get the gist of what she was saying, particularly because every second word was either God or happy. She, by the way, was the embodiment of happiness. Continue reading “The Universal Language of Happiness”

Making Mistakes

If we find it difficult to admit to mistakes, it is often because we have a harsh inner critic. Admitting to any mistake will inevitably mean heavy recrimination. Sigmund Freud called the inner critic, the superego. It monitors the behaviour of the individual. For numerous reasons, many people end up with very brutal and unforgiving superegos. And so, what choice does such a person have but to avoid admitting mistakes in order to avoid harsh treatment? Many of these same people will project those mistakes onto innocent others in their lives. I am sure it has happened to you that the very thing someone else is and you are not, is suddenly being thrust upon you as your own character trait. And more, there is no reasoning with the person who seems incapable of looking at themselves rationally. Continue reading “Making Mistakes”

Healing Repressions

Major fears, sadness, and anger tend to be repressed because they are unpleasant to face. We do not know how to deal with them. Of course, society demands restraint. We obviously cannot rant and rave to every person we feel annoyed with. We cannot go around angrily blaming every poor soul that crosses our path. We cannot crumble into a bumbling heap of fear whenever we are challenged or anxious. We cannot crawl into a little ball of despair and refuse to face the world because we are disheartened and sad. Hopefully, as a child, we learned some restraint and level-headedness. However, we transfer these necessary learned responses into indiscriminate repression. Continue reading “Healing Repressions”

Relationship Status

A mature person feels complete in all stages of life and personal relationship status. The soul is happy single, as well as in a relationship. It is a mistake to think that we need a certain type of relationship to be happy. If we crave a relationship when we are single, we will bring that wanting into any relationship with the consequent problems. To feel that destiny will provide us with what best meets our deepest needs is to be able to enter into any stage of life with confidence and a sense of completeness, not a sense of lack which someone else is supposed to fill. Continue reading “Relationship Status”

Spoiling

Spoiling someone is not love. It creates misery for those who live the illusion that life rotates around them, that they are entitled. Spoiling loved ones is not an endearing quality of loving. It is a disservice to oneself and the loved one. This also applies to dogs. We may believe that we are unselfishly caring for our loved ones by putting their needs and desires before our own but, actually, we may simply be spoiling them. Love does what is truly best for the others’ long-term development and happiness. Spoiling someone is driven by insecurity – a desire to be liked, loved, approved of, and accepted. True love is driven by wisdom, self-confidence, unselfishness, and common sense. It seeks to encourage the growth of independence in the other so that true self-respect can germinate. Continue reading “Spoiling”