The Love of Devotion: Existential Crisis

The fruits of serious spiritual devotion have an unmistakable flavour, sometimes even more so in retrospect. It had been a challenging few years. I was twenty-six and had been progressing through an existential crisis; an involuntary falling apart of life’s meaning. I felt a deep human aloneness and with all my praying, I failed to feel the love of God in any way which could help my state of being. Other than the care and protection of my two little children and my spiritual studies, I had no interest in anything. Everything seemed trite to me; meaningless and often painfully intolerable. I had lost faith in everything human to give solace to my soul. It was not intentional. It is simply what happened over the space of a few years. I was at the bottom of the valley – all things lost but nothing gained. 

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Surrender Prayer—poem

I surrender all to you.
I surrender my life to you.
I will do whatever you want.
I will go wherever you want.
I will love whoever you ask me to love.
I will give up all my stupid opinions.
I will give up all my hopeless cravings.
I release my broken dreams.
I forfeit my planned futures.
I am at your mercy.
I will think no thought
or proceed with any action
which does not come from you
because You love me.

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Together (Book 2 of Waldmeer): Bungalow Buddies

Translucent Man

The past few weekends in Waldmeer, Amira had been seeing a man out of the corner of her eye. She could tell that the man was no longer an Earth resident because he was translucent. That made it easy! If she looked at him directly, he would disappear. He was about her age. Tall, blonde, broad shoulders like a footballer. Amira felt that it was not actually her that he wanted to speak to. She guessed that he wanted to speak to someone in Waldmeer who couldn’t see him. She had no idea who, but life always has a way of telling us what we need to know.

* * *

Ide looked at his sleeping body. She loved those strong, broad shoulders. It was not only a beautiful body but, so far, it had proved itself to be a resilient one after all that he had put it through. Fabian’s body was not yet showing the ravages of recurring addiction. He was probably more at home in his body than anywhere else in this world. His mind was fractured. His spirit fragile. Yet, his body had always served him well. In sports, in love; he radiated physical health and competence. She wished that he would not destroy his beautiful body by a sick mind but she knew it was only a matter of time.

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Together (Book 2 of Waldmeer): Alamgir

Chapter 1: Conqueror of the World

Amira hadn’t had the nightmare since she was twenty which was six years ago. Back then, she was known as Maria. It hadn’t even crossed her mind in the two years she had been living in Eraldus, in the city. Now that she was travelling each weekend back to Waldmeer, the nightmare was occasionally returning. It was strange because nothing could be more charming than Waldmeer; going to sleep and hearing the distant sea, waking to the forest birds, walking to the rhythm of the breaking waves. Some years ago, she had come face to face with the nightmare malevolence when she went to see her teacher, Erdo, in the forest. That occasion marked the first time Amira spoke to Maria. It was the beginning of many years of instruction from Amira to Maria. These days, Maria was back in the Homeland and Amira had sole charge of the body they had both inhabited. Some years were lost in the transition and Amira was now in her late thirties. Like all the secret ones who claim their spiritual inheritance, she seemed somewhat ageless.

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Waldmeer (Book 1 of Waldmeer): Maria of Waldmeer

Chapter 6: A Gift from God

In Waldmeer:

Lenny was a fisherman from Waldmeer. Several generations of his family had lived in the little coastal village. One of his past relatives was a logger in the forest like many men, at that time. He had emigrated from Germany. The logging settlement was the spectacular meeting point of forest and stunning coastline. It was he who first referred to the early town as Waldmeer. It means forest-sea in German. The name stuck and the locals called it that ever since.

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Love’s Longing: Heartache and Healing

Much of our heartache comes not from other people, but from our expectations of other people and what we feel they should bring into our lives. If our heartaches were truly caused by other people, we would have little power to heal our hurt. Healing would primarily be left to the passage of time and, even then, the big heartaches could easily be reignited. The, often unrecognised, factors which have brought about our heartache will be based on a myriad of beliefs ranging from reasonable to downright ridiculous. However, this makes no difference at all to the pain we feel because our pain is not coming from our mind but from our heart. It’s no point arguing with the heart. It doesn’t help to talk reason. The heart doesn’t even hear. It doesn’t know that language. It is instinctive – for good and bad. Whereas the mind will try and patiently think through the reasonableness of any situation, the heart is powerless to do so. The heart is all feeling and it flows from a great line of experiences and expectations, both remembered and forgotten.

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Dance: Fulfilling Our Potential

To be happy, we must fulfil our individual innate potential. Otherwise, we will feel frustrated at some level. In fulfilling ourselves, we will naturally contribute something of worth to the world. Selfish ambition, whether blatant or secret, destroys many a friendship and many a career. Selfish ambition cannot help but see others as competition. If someone else is succeeding, we think that means that we are not, or perhaps not as well as them. Dedication to the good of all, including ourselves, takes the ill-will out of competitive thinking and makes the way to success smoother than we could otherwise orchestrate. We will have God /good on our team.

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The Love of Devotion: Life is Immortal

We are here to evolve. All life forms serve one ultimate purpose – to align themselves with the good, the beautiful, and the infinite. As human souls, this takes a tremendous amount of growth; much more than one short time on Earth can give. We gradually become more aligned to the higher life-force over a long period of soul evolution. What may seem a tragedy by the standard of one short lifetime is merely a page in an ongoing story which has a higher purpose and plot far beyond the momentary appearance. We can trust the Divine nature of the story with all its twists and turns. 

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