In close relationships, there is a balance between standing on our own two feet and recognising what the other person actually brings into our life. We want to contribute rather than become a burden, but the relationship also needs to offer something meaningful to us. It is not selfish to acknowledge that. A relationship needs enough mutual value, care, and connection to remain alive.
Relationships often grow us through their difficult parts, not only their happy ones. That requires honesty about what we need, what is not working, and what each person is willing or able to give. Love asks us to care deeply about the other person, but a relationship is not a charity. It is a two-way street, requiring compassion, self-respect, vulnerability, and respect for the other person.
