The Trouble with Falling in Love

NEW ARTICLE!

A Mind of Its Own

Although highly enjoyable (at certain stages), falling in love is problematic. The first problem is who we can fall in love with. We can fall in love with anyone:

  • a gay person when we are not gay (or maybe we are gay but the wrong gender)
  • a married person who happens to be not married to us (or we could be the married person falling in love with someone other than our partner)
  • an unsuitable person in terms of age, personality, lifestyle, or future goals
  • or, worst of all, a person who doesn’t love us in return.

However, even if we fall in love with a gender and sexual orientation-appropriate, availability-appropriate, age and life goals-appropriate person, falling in love is still highly problematic because of the inherent dynamic of the process itself. This leads to our second problem – the design of the falling in love mechanism. Falling in love seeks to achieve a thing that it is incapable of achieving. It seeks wholeness but inevitably leads to pain, fear, and failure. We need not give up on love but we do need to understand it. Continue reading “The Trouble with Falling in Love”

Jealousy and Falling in Love

Jealousy

We all know the sting of jealousy. It’s painful. Jealousy within the context of a love relationship is really fear. We are afraid that someone will take away that which we have become so attached to and, to varying degrees, have based our life on. However, that fear can quickly turn into anger. Even though we will not have meant to hurt our loved one, that is exactly what we will do in proportion to our jealousy. It’s a destructive human trait although it is automatic in human nature unless deliberately curbed. Continue reading “Jealousy and Falling in Love”

Waldmeer: Bliss

Chapter 47: Bless

Maria threw her coat on the bed and turned the heater on. The house was cold on her return from the meeting.

“That was a disgrace,” she fumed to Amira. Gortaithe looked sympathetic. He would always be a one-eyed supporter. Amira, however, didn’t say anything. “Conceited, arrogant, egotistical, delusional,” said Maria. She had been thrilled with the invitation left in her mailbox a week ago. Continue reading “Waldmeer: Bliss”

Sitting In the Stalls of Life

I looked across the ice rink from where I was sitting and what I saw brought tears to my eyes. It was such a simple thing – just a boy and a girl, becoming a young man and a young woman. My son was still very much a beginner skater. Skating is such a technically demanding sport, it takes years to become competent. However, even though he was a beginner, he was a male figure skater. Anyone in the skating or dancing world knows what that means. A good male skater or dancer is highly valued and is in great demand. And so, it was not surprising that from the moment we arrived, all the young female skaters would have definitely been aware of my son’s presence. It’s great for the ego! Continue reading “Sitting In the Stalls of Life”