Jealousy, Possessiveness, and Falling in Love

Jealousy

We all know the sting of jealousy. It’s painful. Jealousy within the context of a love relationship is really fear. We are afraid that someone will take away that which we have become so attached to and, to varying degrees, have based our life on. However, that fear can quickly turn into anger. Even though we will not have meant to hurt our loved one, that is exactly what we will do in proportion to our jealousy. It’s a destructive human trait although it is automatic in human nature unless deliberately curbed. Continue reading “Jealousy, Possessiveness, and Falling in Love”

The Loss and Gain of Friendships

We all experience the loss of friends and changes in our relationships. It may be our decision, the other person’s, jointly decided or something thrust upon us by life. The loss may have come from something negative like jealousy, ill-will, anger or fear. It may have come from a decision based on what seemed best for all concerned. It may have been the natural outcome of something that life brought into the arena. Regardless, we can practise these principles of healing and growth: Continue reading “The Loss and Gain of Friendships”

Coping with Meanness

Apart from the love in life, everyone also has a lot of meanness that happens to them. Sometimes, it is brought on by our own actions or attitude. However, even if we are careful to keep a good attitude in life, there are countless times when others will have ill-will towards us. In fact, if we try to fulfil our potential in life then it is guaranteed that much of that meanness will come from jealousy. If you are a man that women look at, be prepared for a lot of male ill-will. If you are a woman that men are interested in, be prepared for more than your share of female jealousy. Of course, much of the time it is not blatant meanness. Mostly, it is disguised in some form. It is the nature of human psychology that in order to progress in life, people feel that they need to undermine the competition. In the long run, it doesn’t work but that doesn’t seem to have any impact on lessening this human tendency. Continue reading “Coping with Meanness”

Pull Inwards and Outwards

Leanne spoke with naked emotion, almost desperation, in her voice. She knew what she was doing was ridiculous but no amount of talking herself out of it seemed to help. She loved her partner, Peter, and they were true friends. They were not young when they became a couple and so they both brought with them lots of life experience and many friendships somewhere in the background of their lives. It was one of those friendships that was causing the problem. Peter was a sociable, amiable man who enjoyed his long list of both male and female friends. He was one of those guys who treats women the same way that he treats men. He was great friend material – attentive, loyal, and completely non-invasive. One of his long-time female friends asked him to attend a function with her. It was the function of a mutual friend, they were both invited, and for practical reasons Leanne was not going to be attending. To Peter, it seemed a nice idea – logical and a pleasant opportunity to spend some quality time with his old friend. Continue reading “Pull Inwards and Outwards”

Those Who Belong To Us

My father died suddenly when I was seventeen. Protective and adoring but totally unspoiling, he was my first great love. I have an image in my mind of sitting alone in the funeral car, waiting for everyone to come out of the little country church and drive to the town’s dusty cemetery whose small number of inhabitants are mostly a list of relatives. Sitting there motionless, I had such a bottomless emptiness inside me that crying seemed irrelevant. Some things are too sad for tears. Continue reading “Those Who Belong To Us”