The Voice that Doesn’t Belong to You

Getting Nowhere Fast

Many people who are already on a path of personal or spiritual development are clear about what they want. They’ve made that choice. They want to feel happier and more at ease in themselves. They want abundance to flow. They want work that feels right, relationships that are nourishing, and a sense of inner freedom rather than constant anxiety or self-doubt.

And yet, despite that clarity, something keeps pulling them back. Progress doesn’t seem to move in the way they expect, or at the pace they would like. Old patterns reappear. Familiar struggles return. Sometimes they find themselves making choices they already know don’t serve them, and afterwards they’re left wondering why they did it again when they could see, perfectly well, where they wanted to go.

This can be confusing and often discouraging, especially when someone feels they are doing “the right things” and that they genuinely want change.

What’s often overlooked is that people are generally not telling themselves just one story. Alongside the thoughts they consciously choose about harmony, self-worth, peace, intelligence, or happiness, there is often another internal conversation running in the background.

This other voice can be persistent. It can sound reasonable. It often presents itself as realism, caution, or protection. And because of that, it’s easy to mistake it for truth, even when it repeatedly leads you away from what you say you want.

What Does the Other Voice Say?

The negative and counterproductive thoughts of this other voice run like this:

1. This is just the way things are. It can’t really be any different.
2. This is very personal. It’s about me.
3. If I try to move forward, I could end up worse off than I am now.
4. Even if change is possible, it would be too difficult for me.
5. I should prepare for the worst, just in case.
6. When I seriously consider change, everything feels too scary.
7. Other people see it this way too, so it must be true.
8. This situation is the fault of other people, not me.
9. Now isn’t the right time.
10. I keep noticing evidence that it won’t work, while dismissing signs that it will.
11. There are too many things to deal with right now to look at this properly. I’ll do it later.
12. I’m already being very honest with myself.
13. I need to understand this more fully before I move.
14. I’ve tried before, and it didn’t work.
15. I’ll feel foolish if I change my mind.
16. I’m just being realistic.

The More Helpful Voice

Counteractive thoughts that restore balance and forward movement are:

Instead of: This is just the way things are. It can’t really be any different. 
Say: Things are not as fixed as they seem.

Instead of: This is very personal. It’s about me. 
Say: This is not as personal as it seems. It is a commonly shared human reaction.

Instead of: If I try to move forward, I could end up worse off than I am now. 
Say: I’ll be guided and helped.

Instead of: Even if change is possible, it would be too difficult for me. 
Say: Most of the difficulty comes from my resistance. I am as capable as anyone else.

Instead of: I should prepare for the worst, just in case. 
Say: Preparing for the worst is stopping me from receiving the best.

Instead of: When I seriously consider change, everything feels too scary. 
Say: Fear is mostly ungrounded. When it is relevant, it lets me know which way to go. It is an aid.

Instead of: Other people see it this way too, so it must be true. 
Say:  Mass consensus does not equal truth.

Instead of: This situation is the fault of other people, not me. 
Say: I take full responsibility for how I respond to life.

Instead of: Now isn’t the right time. 
Say: The perfect time is now. Life can respond once I move.

Instead of: I keep noticing evidence that it won’t work, while dismissing signs that it will. 
Say: I choose to notice the positive supports to my path rather than the negative obstacles.

Instead of: There are too many things to deal with right now to look at this properly. I’ll do it later. 
Say: My unwillingness to act comes from my unconscious beliefs. I am willing to see them and make a free choice.

Instead of: I’m already being very honest with myself. 
Say: I want my life to improve, so I am willing to be truly honest.

Instead of: I need to understand this more fully before I move. 
Say: Clarity comes via movement. 

Instead of: I’ve tried before, and it didn’t work. 
Say: I am constantly a new being, with new outcomes.

Instead of: I’ll feel foolish if I change my mind. 
Say: I am free to change my mind as often as I choose. Change is a sign of learning and growth, not foolishness.

Instead of: I’m just being realistic. 
Say: What is “realistic” is highly subjective. I chose which reality I belong to.

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