Relationships and Affairs

Relationships don’t break down because of affairs. Relationships break down because of what is happening within the relationship itself. Affairs are the end result, not the precipitating factor. That doesn’t mean that the participants are aware of the breakdown and, even less, that they have openly communicated about it. However, when the relationship has already started to dismantle, at an underlying level, one or both people are vulnerable to being drawn into a relationship with another person. Not infrequently, having an affair is someone’s unconscious way of being able to move on from the relationship. It’s not a great way and it will carry the karma of betrayal. Honest communication, although painful and inevitably angry, is preferable.

How To Not Have An Affair:

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Fulfilling Our Potential

To be happy, we must fulfil our individual innate potential. Otherwise, we will feel frustrated at some level. In fulfilling ourselves, we will naturally contribute something of worth to the world. Selfish ambition, whether blatant or secret, destroys many a friendship and many a career. Selfish ambition cannot help but see others as competition. If someone else is succeeding, we think that means that we are not or perhaps not as well as them. Dedication to the good of all, including ourselves, takes the ill-will out of competitive thinking and makes the way to success smoother than we could otherwise orchestrate. We will have God/good on our team.

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Destined Relationships

In life, there are so many people who need love but we cannot personally love everyone. We must find those who belong to our own particular karmic groupings. How do we make such important decisions? Whenever we decide to invest a considerable amount of time in one person or a group of people, we can make that choice based on a feeling of rightness in our soul. The rightness may be recognisable by a sense of peace or happiness or balance. It may be recognisable by a sense of destiny unfolding as it should. It could be that the thought of leaving someone or something, in some form, feels distinctly unsatisfactory. Many of our human connections are not logically explainable. They come from the unconscious. The unconscious, karma, and destiny are all siblings. Karmic connectedness means that we are destined to play a part in certain people’s lives because we have a higher connection which cannot be easily broken.

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Intimacy – sexual relationships

In order to enjoy a close and intimate bond with our partner, we need to be mindful of the emotional state of the relationship. Without an honest and genuine emotional bond of trust, a high quality sexual relationship will never be achieved. Sex will become non-existent or the domain of one controlling partner over one submissive partner or a mutual using of each other’s body. Each individual brings with them all that they are outside the bedroom walls into the sanctity of the enclosed bedroom space. With humour, goodwill, and enthusiasm, the skill level of both people can improve rapidly. A few good sex books can do wonders for a couple. We cannot assume that our partner understands the sexual needs of a body that has a different physical and emotional functioning to our own. Even gay couples cannot assume to know how a different person functions sexually, though it is the same structural type of body. Every good-natured experiment is one step closer to a more satisfying experience. A couple may even choose to investigate such ideas as the meridians and pressure points of Taoist foreplay if they would like their sexual relationship to become more holistic and healing.

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Silence

Some people have a seemingly quiet life but they are noisy inside. Some people have a seemingly busy life but they have a quietness within. To lessen the inner noise we can develop self-awareness, introspection, and stillness. We grow in solitude. We need quiet times. They make our life happier and less problematic. They move us closer to glowing health, agelessness, peace, prosperity, clear thinking, inspired ideas, harmonious and interesting relationships, and effective problem solving. They secure our personal and spiritual progress. As we become more conscious through the practice of quiet times, we progressively lose the problems of illness, stress, confusion, and relationship breakdowns. By having quiet times, we start to wake up.

Dedicated Quiet Time

The quiet time has several requirements:

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Life is Immortal

We are here to evolve. All life forms serve one ultimate purpose – to align themselves with the good, the beautiful, and the infinite. As human souls, this takes a tremendous amount of growth; much more than one short time on Earth can give. We gradually become more aligned to the higher life-force over a long period of soul evolution. What may seem a tragedy by the standard of one short lifetime is merely a page in an ongoing story which has a higher purpose and plot far beyond the momentary appearance. We can trust the Divine nature of the story with all its twists and turns. Acceptance makes a lighter load of things that will only make sense in the end. Our view is relatively short-term. Our limited sense of life is not the confines of a limitless Intelligence. We must remember the true essence of life – indestructible, immaterial, completely safe, and utterly untouchable. We are spiritual, not physical beings. That does not change with either birth or death. It remains constant. Our true essence is intangible, bodiless, and ethereal.

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Transforming Sexual Energy

At various times in our life, we may wish to transform sexual energy into higher energy which is useful for spiritual development. This can happen spontaneously and unconsciously such as when it is not possible to discharge sexual energy in a normal, healthy sexual relationship. It can, sometimes, happen that those in the process of intensive, creative work will temporarily cease sexual activity in order to channel all of their energy into their work. Top level athletes will often refrain from sexual activity before an important event in order to save their life-force for the task at hand. The lack of a suitable mate can trigger the automatic transfer of frustrated sexual energy into the higher energy centres where it will be used for the mental, creative, and spiritual progress of that individual.

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The Dark Night of the Soul

It is often in the utter despair of humanness that we become willing to consider deeply spiritual answers. It was through the pathway of Metapsychiatry and the guidance and support of its founder, Dr Thomas Hora, that I was able to discover a higher spiritual truth. The door and the guide will be different for most people but once the door is open, we are all in the same territory. Spiritual truth irretrievably alters our way of seeing reality and our ability to heal both ourselves and other people. Most spiritual awakening is due to a total disappointment in the human condition to provide any sense of substantial happiness. It is a blessing in disguise. Our greatest need is for the love and assurance that spiritual understanding brings. If it were not for the common experience of human lovelessness and limitation then we would not be driven to seek a higher love.

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The Flame Ignites

I had resigned myself to the idea that dancing, for me, was going to be an unfulfilled yearning. In my mid-twenties, I told myself that I was too old for dancing and I had best transfer all such longings into a more suitable outlet. The dancing flame was buried and I took up the violin. Playing the violin was enjoyable enough but, you see, I wasn’t a musician. I was a dancer.

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Spiritual Withdrawal

Rite of Passage

Some type of separation or seclusion is, for some of us, a necessary rite of passage. When we see through the self-confirmatory nature of human interaction, we can decide to refrain from participating in it for some time. One must learn to tolerate and live with silence before one is ready to talk the talk of the angels. For a few people, the silence remains in the form of seclusion. For all, it remains internally and is regarded as precious. It, sometimes, requires the silence of withdrawal to spiritually work through some inner milestones. What other people think about this is only of concern because of our love for others and our compassion for their inability to understand what we may be doing. However, the focus is not on what others think of us but on how we can fulfil our spiritual potential and help the world. There can be a transitory conflict between spiritual evolution and the pull towards that which is conventional, acceptable, and normal human behaviour. The world, as ignorant as it is, accepts very little deviation from its ridiculous and unfounded ideas of normalcy.

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